DAVID A. NEWMAN M.D., F.A.C.S.

What to Tell  Your Kids About
Your Breast Augmentation

By David A. Newman, M.D.

One of the most confusing problems which comes up after breast augmentation relates to whether and what patients and their spouses should tell their children regarding the surgery.   This issue is quite complex because of the many factors it touches on and the varying circumstances. 

Perhaps, the most important factor relates to the children themselves.  Older children may be better able to comprehend a parent’s motivation to have surgery and that might make the conversation go more smoothly.  Other aspects related to the child are his or her level of understanding and comprehension of adult issues.  Some children are more curious than others and might have a keen interest in knowing more, especially as the information relates to something scientific, logical, or explains something.  For example, the question “why can’t mommy take me to the park?” might be answered with “mommy can’t take you to the park because she had surgery on her chest but she still loves you and will take you to the park in a few days.”  This answer provides clear and satisfying information and is also reassuring to the child.  Once curiosity has been satisfied and the least amount has been revealed, the child is free to pursue other areas of interest and may not return to ask more questions for quite a while. 

You may choose to say absolutely nothing about your surgery and hope that your children won’t notice.   Children are quite inquisitive, however, so if you are going to use this method, you should definitely be prepared with plan A and a plan B to answer questions at a moment’s notice.   Generally, the least said the better.  You never know what small children may report to their teacher or a relative!

It’s possible that you might not need to tell children exactly what surgery was performed but rather the steps needed to be taken after the procedure, especially if they are small.  For example, one might say that “I will be in bed for about three days and then I will be able to prepare your food all of the time.”  This method gives reassurance without revealing too much information.
More mature children would certainly need some kind of explanation because anything less might be taken as a sign of mistrust.  Teenagers may feel especially condescended to because of the intense mood swings in this age group.  Giving a decent explanation might especially be needed for girls who are often more mature than boys, particularly at the junior high and even high school ages.  Most 14 year old girls would certainly be able to comprehend, and even could completely empathize with the statement from a mother like “I got my breasts made larger because of the size I lost from breast feeding and I had nothing but skin left.”   Another way to say that might be, “After breast feeding I couldn’t fit into my bra’s and my bathing suit so I had my chest enlarged so I didn’t have to buy more clothing.” 

Still tact is to approach the issue from the aspect of need versus want.  One might say, “I didn’t need to do the surgery because I already felt good about myself but it was something I chose for myself…”    A good general rule is that if you perceive that your child will be hurt if you don’t tell him or her something, it is probably better to discuss matters prior to the child asking for an explanation.  You certainly are at an advantage if you break the ice first. 

A great number of patients go with the old standby answer of telling their children they had surgery but fibbing about the type of surgery.  For example, some moms say they had some moles removed or some such smaller skin treatment.  It is not the truth, but the truth can be saved for later when, at an appropriate time, the correct information might be revealed to a more understanding child.  

The decision to have breast augmentation surgery and be open and honest about it may be bonding for mother and daughter, or even for mother and son.  And, as mentioned above, there may be reasons to keep quiet to varying degrees.  It is ultimately up to you to decide if and what you will tell your child.  Though this may be a serious matter, children are intuitive and resilient.  Their responses might shock and amuse you and even provide some entertainment. 

	Additional Reading:
	·  Breast Enhancement: Secret Wishes of the Breast Augmentation Patient ·  Silicone or Saline:  A Woman's Choice ·  Discount Breast Augmentation

"I researched several surgeons before selection Dr. Newman, I had many questions and concerns leading up to my surgery and Dr. Newman and his staff always took the time to answer every questions truthfully."

Lisa Shapiro